A Theological Vision for Discipling the Next Generation
When I planted Coram Deo in Omaha 20 years ago, our approach to children’s ministry was admittedly haphazard. With a small congregation mostly in their 20s and only about 10 children younger than 5, we focused on immediate needs like setting up a basic nursery so parents could listen to a sermon. Our efforts were reactive, with no cohesive vision.
As the church grew, we added programs for elementary, middle, and high school students, but these were built piecemeal, addressing immediate demands without a clear plan. About five years ago, we stepped back to ask, How can we systematically approach discipleship from ages 0 to 18? This question led us to develop a theological vision that now anchors our children’s and youth ministries, ensuring a unified approach to raising the next generation in faith.
Foundational Theological Principles
Our theological vision begins with a core conviction rooted in Deuteronomy 6: Parents are the primary disciple-makers of their children. In Omaha, where I serve, we face a cultural challenge. Many churches in our area stem from the church growth movement of the 1980s and 1990s, alongside strong Lutheran and Catholic influences. These churches often adopt attractional models that encouraged parents to drop their kids off at youth group, leaving spiritual formation to the church.
This approach can foster passivity, sidelining the critical role God has assigned to parents. At Coram Deo, we counteract this by emphasizing that parents are the primary spiritual influencers. Every aspect of our ministry, from birth to age 18, is designed to reinforce this truth, equipping parents to take their role seriously while we, as a church, come alongside to support and facilitate their efforts.
Parents are the primary spiritual influencers in their children’s lives.
A second conviction is that the calling of parents is to trust and obey. Parents (and churches) often excel at one while neglecting the other. Some emphasize trust, leaning heavily on God’s grace, but downplay obedience, leading to spiritual complacency. Others hammer obedience, fostering anxiety and fear. We should strive for both, encouraging parents to lean into God’s promises while faithfully following his guidance in raising their children. This dual focus shapes how we disciple parents and also their kids.
To help parents and volunteers internalize this vision, we frame our approach around four foundational principles.
1. Promise: Trust God’s Covenant Commitments
As a gospel-centered church, we begin with the indicative—what God has promised to do for his people. Our curriculum and teaching emphasize God’s covenant commitments, encouraging parents and children alike to trust and rest in these promises. For parents, this means grounding their efforts in the assurance of God’s faithfulness. For children and youth, it involves learning to believe and rely on God’s unchanging promises. By starting with promise, we anchor discipleship in the good news of the gospel, ensuring that trust in God’s Word is the foundation of spiritual growth.
2. Providence: See All of Life as God-Related
We believe, as David Powlison has said, that all of life is God-related. Every moment, whether mundane or challenging, is an opportunity for discipleship. This perspective, rooted in Deuteronomy 6, calls parents to view every facet of life—school struggles, friendships, sibling rivalry, or medical hardships—as a context for teaching children to know, trust, and worship God.
Discipleship isn’t confined to church services or family devotions. Instead, God’s providential work in all of life provides opportunities to help children understand him and his ways. By framing life’s circumstances as part of God’s sovereign plan, we equip parents to seize these moments for spiritual formation, fostering a holistic approach to discipleship.
3. Presence: Rely on God’s Nearness
We want parents, volunteers, and children to know that God is with us. While competence in teaching or leading is valuable, the hope we have for our children to believe the gospel does not rest on human performance. What matters most is not the skill of the Sunday morning storyteller or a student ministry leader, but the reality that God is present with us. We lean into his nearness, trusting he’s at work in the hearts of those we serve. This truth alleviates pressure from parents and volunteers, reminding us that God’s presence is the ultimate source of transformation in discipleship.
4. Progress: Embrace Growth
Parenting and discipling children is hard work, and the journey can be discouraging when progress feels slow or when comparisons to other families arise. We encourage parents to focus on progress rather than unattainable standards of perfection. Are we, as parents and as a church, growing in trusting and obeying Christ? Are our children taking steps toward understanding and following him?
Every moment, whether mundane or challenging, is an opportunity for discipleship.
This emphasis on progress guards against perfectionism and legalism, which can lead to defeat or a performance-driven mindset. Instead, we rest in God’s love for his people and lean into his promises, trusting he’s at work in both adults and children as we grow together in Christ.
This theological framework isn’t just for parents; it shapes everyone involved in our ministry. Jesus’s teaching that we must become like little children to enter God’s kingdom (Matt. 18:3) reminds us that discipleship isn’t just about shaping kids; it’s about God’s work in us. As we disciple the next generation, we’re forced to confront our own sin, repent, and trust God more deeply. This mutual growth creates a culture of discipleship where adults and children grow together in the gospel.
Systematic Approach to Discipleship
Recognizing the piecemeal nature of our early efforts, we sought to create a cohesive strategy for discipling children from birth to age 18. A key influence came from Dorothy Sayers’s 1948 essay “The Lost Tools of Learning.” While Sayers focused on education, her insights into childhood development offer a valuable framework for discipleship. She identifies three stages of childhood—Parrot, Pert, and Poet––each with distinct characteristics that inform how we engage kids spiritually.
To align with these stages, we’ve organized our ministry into four age groups: preschool (0–5), elementary (5–9), catechism (10–12), and student ministry (13–18). Each stage builds on the previous one, creating a seamless journey of discipleship. Below, I’ll outline how we approach each stage and ensure a handoff that prepares children for the next phase of their spiritual growth.
Parrot Stage
“The parrot stage,” Sayers writes, “is the one in which . . . one likes to recite the number plates of cars; one rejoices in the chanting of rhymes . . . one enjoys the mere accumulation of things.” My own kids exemplified this stage when they memorized license plates on road trips or NFL team rosters. During this time, children are eager to soak up knowledge, making it ideal for teaching them Scripture’s stories and truths.
In our preschool and elementary ministry, we focus on storytelling and memorization to build a robust biblical foundation. Kids learn key Bible stories, memorize verses, and begin to understand the overarching narrative of God’s redemptive plan. We design activities to engage their natural curiosity, like interactive Bible lessons and songs that reinforce God’s promises.
At home, parents are encouraged to build daily habits of worship—using mealtimes, bedtimes, and even car rides to read the Bible or other Christian stories together. The church also promotes family service to help children learn that their lives are meant to bless others in Jesus’s name. By the end of this stage, children have a storehouse of biblical knowledge and a growing trust in God, preparing them for the next phase.
Pert Stage
The Pert stage, as Sayers calls it, “is characterized by contradicting, answering-back, liking to ‘catch people out’ (especially one’s elders) . . . Its nuisance-value is extremely high.” At this stage, kids love to debate and question authority. I remember my own middle schoolers pointing out inconsistencies in my answers from week to week! This stage, roughly ages 10 to 12, is when children begin to think more logically and critically, making it an important time for deepening their understanding of faith.
Around age 10 or 11, children in our church transition out of children’s ministry and into greater involvement in the main worship service. At this stage, we introduce the New City Catechism, with children participating in a biweekly class throughout their fourth- and fifth-grade years. The program culminates in a retreat where a parent publicly affirms their child’s spiritual growth, and the church formally welcomes them into student ministry. This retreat serves as both a rite of passage and a celebration of the child’s developing faith and growing responsibility within the church community.
Poet Stage
The Poet stage, Sayers observed, is “the ‘difficult’ age. It is self-centered; it yearns to express itself; it rather specializes in being misunderstood; it is restless and tries to achieve independence.” Teens often feel misunderstood and restless, yet they’re also capable of immense creativity and passion. Musical artists from the Beatles to Olivia Rodrigo began their groundbreaking work as teens.
In our church, we want to help teenagers grow deep theological roots, cultivate Christlikeness, and grow to maturity in their faith. We recognize that these adolescent years are full of big questions about identity, purpose, and belief. Students are beginning to differentiate from their parents and form their own understanding of the gospel, and we want to support that process with grace and intention.
At this stage, it’s important to work hard to foster meaningful friendships and community across school lines and social groups. And as students face cultural and personal challenges, we want to help them develop a distinctly Christian worldview. One of my favorite moments is our annual senior dinner, where we celebrate what God has done in our students, honor their growth, and cast a vision for life after high school.
As we disciple the next generation, we’re forced to confront our own sin, repent, and trust God more deeply.
At home, I’ve learned that leading my teenagers starts with living in the grace of God myself. They need to see that I rely on Christ just as much as they do. As their schedules get busy and their lives more complex, the best conversations about faith often come unexpectedly—late at night, after a hard day, or in the car. We encourage parents in our church to try to stay present and ready for those moments, offering wisdom, Scripture, and perspective when life gives us an open door. Parenting teens is challenging, but it’s also an incredible opportunity to walk with them as they learn to trust Jesus with their whole lives.
This is also a stage where we start to disciple more and more students from non-Christian households. Perhaps a friend from school invited them to church, or a campus ministry leader got them into a Bible study, or a grandparent is playing a shaping role in their story. Our vision of parents as the primary disciple-makers obviously breaks down when mom and dad aren’t Christians. So we seek to equip our student-ministry volunteers with strong evangelism skills, and we create safe, informal environments (Bible studies, book groups, dinner parties, service projects) where non-Christian students can experience Christian community.
Build a Culture of Discipleship
Discipling the next generation isn’t just about the kids; it’s about how God uses them to shape us. As we teach children to trust and obey, we’re challenged to do the same, repenting of our unbelief and leaning into God’s grace. This mutual growth creates a vibrant culture of discipleship where everyone grows together in the gospel.
We hope this vision inspires other churches to think systematically about discipleship and ensure every child, from birth to adulthood, is led toward a faith that endures.''